So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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