i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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