how can u be prego again
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Shame is for Republicans.
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