You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
