i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
