You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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