it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
