i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think my vagina is haunted
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm like, not good at living.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
