It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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