walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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