pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
