So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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