Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
