i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
