Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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