last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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