Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
