do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
