HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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