Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
