I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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