Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
