The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize