Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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