how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize