Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
