I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i think my cat just said my name.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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