it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well you can't waste a boner
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
