My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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