Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
