So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
