Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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