Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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