So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
