make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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