I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
