this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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