I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just gargled with NyQuil
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
