Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
