you guys were way drunker than both of me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
