I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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