So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
