Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
