So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
