I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
