I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
