There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
