we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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