I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
