Screwed.edu
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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