I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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