there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
