is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
