forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
