i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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