dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
