Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
