is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hippo gnu deer
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
