I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
