Three words: puerto rican gang bang
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
