I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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