WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
